Lingering in the Light: The Math doesn't Matter

I am a visual learner and an analytical person. Although I hate doing math, every other week, I sit down with the checkbook, the budget planner, and and an oncoming set of new wrinkles. I outline everything we have to spend for the particular two weeks and subtract it from the total of our paycheck. The numbers never come out negative, but sometimes they cut a little too close for comfort. 

Don't get me wrong. God provides for our every need. We are not lacking in anything. We are extremely blessed by the resources we have the miracle that is Peden's job. :)

But it's not as easy to say that when all those numbers are in a column together and the last one keeps dwindling.  Sometimes bills have to be moved or things have to get cut. And it always works out.  I KNOW this. But it doesn't stop me from weighing things that could easily be cut, but are more essential than the calculator gives them credit, like tithe or extra grocery allowance. Yes. My sinful heart tries to skimp on tithe. I'm rotten. But it's easy to reason with God and say, "Well you want me to pay the power bill, don't you?" or "You don't want us to starve, do you?" 

At that point, I am sure God just rolls his eyes at me and brings to my mind the verse that, ironically, I am always quoting to my husband, the worrier. (I'm not exactly a worrier, just an excessive planner. Difference.) Every time, I wonder how I let my brain and my calculator speak louder than this passage. 

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:25-34)

Yep. As simple as it is, I forget this one. God clearly tells me, "Chill out! I got this! It's all mine anyway!" That's right. He own the water that comes through our faucets, the electricity that works out microwaves, the gas that heats our shower. He owns it, and he in no way owes it me.

 But I owe him my adoration and my trust. So yes, despite the small number at the end of the column, I wrote that tithe check. I'm going out to buy my family the groceries we need. I'm going to live in faith and I am not going to worry about the amount in the bank account. You hear that, headache? Not. Gonna.