Clean slate protocol. (Warning. Dont read if you havent seen the new irom man movie.)

Last weekend my husband and I went to see the new iron man movie. (Fantastic, hilarious, heart wrenching, the whole package. :) Pepper's life is put in danger by Tony's obsession with the iron man suits.

THIS IS WHERE THE SPOILING BEGINS. In the end, Tony initiates what Jarvis calls the clean slate protocol. All the remaining suits are destroyed, in order to show pepper that Tony is letting go.

Everyone brings baggage along the way in life. But when two people start traveling that way together, the quaint little stationwagon starts to get a little crowded. You start cramming in traumatic life experiences, bad teachers, past bullies, old relationships, the childhood dog that passed away. And don't get me started on the extra trailer behind just for all the sets of parents.

I mean come on! You haven't left any room for the kids to form complexes of their own along the way.

Before Tony and pepper could truly enjoy their life together, they had to let go. Pepper had to learn to trust Tony (although that didn't exactly go the way he planned), and Tony had to learn to move on from things he couldn't fix or explain.

1 Corinthians 5:17 reads "If anyone be in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come." This refers to a new relationship with Christ in which he tosses all your old baggage to the curb. He step on the gas and never looks back. 

When you begin to walk life with someone here on earth, you have to do the same thing. But, unfortunately neither of you in the relationship are Christ. So not only do you have to toss out the other person's baggage, but you have to TOSS OUT YOUR OWN. Pepper couldn't initiate the clean slate protocol. Tony had to do it. 

Initiate the clean slate protocol. throw out your baggage. Let it go. Trust. You will form new baggage along the way. Together. I guarantee it. :P

Love Triangle: me, my family, and my job.

When my daughter smiles at me I feel the same way as when I walk into a YMCA and kids run up and hug me. All i have to do is watch her sleep and it thrills me. Thrills me as much as telling kids stories from the Bible that show them how much God loves them.

Does it make me a bad mom to say that I love my job as much as my family? :P

Strangely these were the thoughts that kept me persevering through the doubt that I could a wife, mom, and missionary all at the same time. God has called me, and he is able to and will equip me. :)

So yeah. Ministry. I have a confession to make. Hopefully no one will hate me for it. In the flesh... I am extremely lazy. :( Monday, I slept until mid afternoon, and once i lost that big chunk of the day, it was so hard to resolve myself to anything, whether it be exercise, cleaning, or making calls. However, I did meet with a friend to practice my ministry presentation. Not only did I have a great run through, even while caring for the baby, but she is also considering partnering and spreading the word. :)

So yesterday i resolved myself to getting up at six am. yikes!And I was actually quite productive. I didn't get as much as wanted done because of a praticularly needy baby that day but still. I made four calls, left two messages, and got one really great response. Following up on that response in the next couple of days. 

Unfortunately my KCT coach cancelled our first call because of health issues, but i am looking forward to our first call next week. 

So over all not a terrible start. :)

Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.

My new journey, my new self.

"I pray for the patience of job and the wisdom of solomon. And what does God give me?"

"A daughter. Isn't His sense of humor funny that way?"  :)

I drafted this months ago and just rediscovered it. LOL. I think it was a conversation between my husband and I while I was pregnant. But while I have you here, I guess I would like to say a few words in honor of mother's day. 

I once saw a poll in Parent's magazine about whether or not a woman should use a picture of just her kid(s) as he picture on a social network. Many women said that that entailed losing one'sidentity or that they were more than just a mom. Boo, I say. There was one mother however who voiced my feeling better than I probably even understood them at the time.

She said that having her daughter had permanently changed her. That he daughter was an extension of her own identity. In the movie "A Time To Kill," Matthew Mconahey's (sp?) character calls it "life beyond her own." I know exactly how this feels.

I have been preparing to return to ministry with a large portion of time. I haven't got a breast pump or arranged for babysitters, because I have always imagined doing ministry with her in tow. And she doesn't interfere. She feels like and extension of my arm. A natural part of me.

I love my daughter and the way she has changed me and my life. :)

LITL: An odd prayer

The other day, In my quiet time, I was reading Ephesians 3. One verse in particular stood out to me. 

"In Him we have boldness and confident access through faith in Him^. So then I ask you not to be discouraged over my afflictions on your behalf, for they are your glory." Ephesians 3:12-13

Paul is speaking to the church in Ephesus of the great power and blessings that God has for those who believe. Obviously we should be bold in revealing to others the mystery of the gospel, the birth, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the free gift that is salvation. 

So in response to this verse relating to being bold, what did I do? I prayed for meekness. I prayed for God to help me to be timid. For those of you who know me, this is a God-sized request. :P

But I am not saying I'm shutting up. God has areas in my life in which I needd to be bold to share, like Paul. But that is easy. What God is truly breaking me for is to be able to discern when to be bold, and when to step aside and let someone else speak. 

Be in prayer. This won't be easy for me. But I am already seeing the blessing God is bringing about through it. :)

Strangely, I think God will show something in order to teach us the exact opposite.

I'm baaaack!

I know. You've missed me, haven't you. Pining away, checking facebook every day to see if I posted a new blog. Or perhaps getting by on the adorable baby pictures all over my timeline. Yeah. I can't get enough of her either. :P

Well, I have returned. After a three month vacation (HA! haha! right.) I have returned to the blogging world. I am excited about whats in store for the future.

I am starting a new phase of ministry, after having completed a special training. I hope to start posting weekly ministry updates, to keep those curious informed, and to keep myself accountable to managing the time God has given me. 

Of course I still have that adorable doodle bug pictured above. I hope not to let her take over the blog too much. But i will be occasionally chronicling motherhood every once in a while. Don't worry. This will not become a purely mommy-blog. 

Finally, if you know me, you know one of my greatest struggles and convictions is the fact that I am horrible at keeping a daily time with God. I hope to return to frequent "Lingering in the Light" posts to share the things God is doing in my heart and in my life. 

Hope you will enjoy the ride alongside me. :) TTFN. (Yeah, the Pooh nursery theme is starting to get to me.)

PS. if there are any suggestions, stories, updates, etc, you would like to see more of, just send a shout out. You know where to find me. :)

Winter Newsletter 2013

Here is a link to my Winter 2013 CEF Newsletter. 

If you would like to receive my quarterly newsletter in the mail, please email me your contact information. You can reach me at savannahlrbarber@gmail.com or here on my blog. 

https://docs.google.com/file/d/1lq6nJ9mgZkAW7aD_v-tW5LHJGTsQ1-zik1J0BcZB5P6rkELNXanqbrFVsL10/edit

Naysayers and bad dreams.

Doubt is an enemy which all face regularly. Even when we have heard God's will for our life, we are not always completely sealed off from doubt. It can still leak in like water through a poorly sealed window during a storm.
Many doubted young David due to his stature, despots his confidence that the Lord had given him the victory.
1 Samuel 17:33, 39-40, 45-46 HCSB

"But Saul replied, "You can't go fight this Philistine. You're just a youth, and he's been a warrior since he was young." (...) David strapped his sword on over the military clothes and tried to walk, but he was not used to them. "I can't walk in these," David said to Saul, "I'm not used to them." So David took them off.  Instead, he took his staff in his hand and chose five smooth stones from the wadi and put them in the pouch, in his shepherd's bag.

LITL: Full of It

Last week I posted about something my pastor said about prayer and missionaries. As I said in that post, this greatly convicted me on my daily walk with the Lord. I wanted to further explore this as I work to realign myself with daily communing with God and seeking his will.

The same Sunday my pastor said this, he spoke on a passage from Ephesians:

"For this reason I kneel before the Father from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named. I pray that He may grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power in the inner man through His Spirit, and that the Messiah may dwell in your hearts through faith. I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us— to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Ephesians 3:14-21)

As I read through this passage, so many things stand out to me. I picture Paul kneeling, not just beside his bed before bedtime, but on his face before the Lord as he intercede for the Christians of that day. Do I also come to God in such humility? I was struck by something author Francis Chan said in his book Crazy Love. He instructed the reader to stop praying. "Stop talking at God," but just to start listening. Wow. That will certainly change your daily time with God.

Welcome! Please come in. :)

For anyone who might not know... I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

It's by far my favorite holiday. I have always looked forward to it the whole year, since I was little. Not because of presents or anything. I love having my family all together in one place. Every year we go to my Granny's house for lunch and dirty Santa. Because none of my family lives in Montgomery with me, this was special. All my aunts, uncles, cousins gathered together in one house. Then on Christmas my sister, who either lived with her dad, away at college, or in Birmingham throughout my life, would be home for breakfast and presents. :)

When my dad passed away last year, we drove to Brimingham with my brother and had Christmas day at at my sister's house with her and her husband. I loved it. We were still together.

But this year, it's my turn! :) I never realized until I actually had a house big enough to host people in, how much I love having people over. :)

Decorating was a full scale endeavor this year because (a) there was actually room to decorate, compared to our sardine apartment we lived in last year, and (b) we can have people over to see them!

Strangly enough, I haven't been too terribly stressed out about the fact that there is SO MUCH TO DO and so little time. In addition to my siblings staying over Christmas Eve, We will be gone the three or four days before Christmas Eve seeing my husband's family (and frankly just having a small get away before the baby comes.) This gives me THREE days nest week to do EVERYTHING!

But I am nothing but excited. :) Well I'm tired, but who can help that at eight months pregnant. :P

It occured to me recently that perhaps I have a gift I never discovered before now. I have always admired a few friends of mine: those friends that were always welcome to open their home to people at any time. This might be because while I was growing up I often needed places opened up to me. But now I see that perhaps I have this same gift. I love to have people over. :) I love for people to know that if they need anything, they can show up on our doorstep. There is always a couch bed for anyone in need. Jesus called us to be open to such spontaneous ministry:

LITL: Beauty is in the Eye of the Record Holder

While reading through one of my Fitness magazines, I ran across an ad for Oakleys that featured Olympic gold medalist, Lindsey Vonn. The headline of the ad read "Beauty is in the eye of the record holder."

Many people have aspirations in life. Some hope to be rich, famous, attractive, athletic, etc. The world has so many things that it labels as beautiful. For some it lies in complexion, size, shape, accessories. These labels have changed over time, and have been used to describe not only people but many aspects of the world around us. The Romantic movement in literature hinged on a term, "sublime," that referred to something's beauty, not due to aesthetic pleasure, but to its ability to intimidate or terrify. I say all this to reitterate that beauty iof fleeting, not in its presence, but in its definition. 

This of course results in the phrase, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

However, I particularly love the headline of this ad, because it places the ability to judge beauty not on the person looking, but on oneself. The record holder would normally be the object of beholding. But the one beholding you does not decide how or why you are beautiful. You determine that for yourself. 

I am pretty sure Linsay Vonn has days when she wakes up, looks in the mirror, and thinks, "Man my hair is rank." But even when she does, she still know she is looking at an Olympic Gold Medalist. While this may not necessarily be the most important think to her, I am pretty sure it ranks up there, or she wouldn't train or compete as hard as she does.

I say all this with this question in mind: As Christians, where do we find our own worth or beauty? What drives us to so determinedly live the way we do?

LITL: A communication barrier bigger than you expected.

A while ago, I wrote about communicating: understanding the other perspective as well as admitting flaws in your own perspective. 

Shortly after, I became stuck on something even more difficult. What if the barriers aren't in your speech. Or theirs. What if the other person IS the barrier?

There have been many situations in my life when I have avoided the obvious answer to my problems. Or maybe I wouldn't even admit that I had a problem. When we know we are not living right, we avoid those things and people that are going to convict us. 

Have you ever gone through a day when you just couldn't listen to praise music? Even if it was a song you knew you liked. It just rubbed you the wrong way. Or avoided a good friend because you knew they would see right through you?

We have all been there. It goes back even to Old Testament times. In 1 Kings, Adonikah, brother of Absolom and son of King David announced himself to be king, despite David's still living and Solomon's known appointment as the next king. Adonijah was not alone when he did this. The bible tells us "Adonijah conferred with Joab son of Zeruiah and with Abiathar the priest, and they gave him their support. But Zadok the priest, Benaiah son of Jehoiada, Nathan the prophet, Shimei and Rei and David’s special guard did not join Adonijah." <sup>Adonijah knew who would be opposed to his plan, thus he avoided those people and told them nothing of it. 

Like Adonijah, we do not like to be alone when we are doing wrong. We will search far and wide to find someone to "be on our side."</sup> 

Proverbs 25:11-12
"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear."

 Isaiah 9:6
"For a child will be born for us,a son will be given to us,[...] He will be named Wonderful [or Wise] Counselor." (Even stuck some Christmas in there for you. :)

Is there someone you have been avoiding, for of their wise counsel? Have you been avoiding the Word of God for fear of conviction?

I'm a Saint! (yes. song included.)

“I love to hear missionaries pray, because no one knows daily communion with or the constant provision of God like a missionary does.” Pastor Myron

Wow. If that's not convicting, I dont know what is. As many of you know, I am in the candidacy stage of becoming a full time, faith supported missionary. Typically one might think of missionaries up there with Sunday school teachers and Pastors. We have it all together. We know the Bible front and back. We never worry, and when we mess up its nothing big, or we get it back together nice and quick.

Don't get me wrong. This is of course what I strive for but not any more so than anyone else should, regardless of my personal calling. But we're not what some would call saints. In fact, the idea of a saint is poorly misunderstood to so many of today's Christians, I think.

When someone thinks of a saint, they most likely picture angels and halos, soft speech, gentle walk. Maybe the sky opens over their head and the heavens sing. I myself picture a sweet grandmother whom one can't even imagine raising her voice, let alone doing anything wrong. If this is the case, I am no saint. And many Christians aren't either, as much as we would love to insist the contrary.

Let me show you a people in the Bible who were referred to as saints:

“For it has been reported to me about you, my brothers, by members of Chloe’s household, that there is rivalry among you.”

“It is widely reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and the kind of sexual immorality that is not even tolerated among the Gentiles—a man is living with his father’s wife. And you are inflated with pride, instead of filled with grief so that he who has committed this act might be removed from your congregation.”

SANTA!!!! I KNOW HIM!

No. This post is not about Elf. Not really. 

First, it was inspired by a Christmas song I heard on klove radio the other day. The lyrics went like this:

"Empty manger, perfect stranger, about to be born. Into darkness, sadness, desperate madness, creation so torn. We were so lost on earth, no peace, no worth. no way to escape. In fear, no faith, no hope, no grace, and no light but that was the night before Christmas. Warm hay, cold sweat, a mother, not yet." The Night Before Christmas, by Brandon Heath

This song, contrasting out lost state before the coming of the Messiah to the hope we now have in him, got me to thinking. Immediately I was so grateful that Jesus is not a stranger to me. In the words of Buddy the elf, "I know him!" We are familiar with each other. We communicate daily. He knows my name, my fears, even my favorite color. (See what I did there? :p)

The other day, our advent devotional featured this verse:

John 15:14-16 "You are My friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you slaves anymore, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father.  You did not choose Me, but I chose you."

God wants you to get to know him. He wants a personal TWO-WAY relationship between you both. He says through Jeremiah, "But the one who boasts should boast in this, that he understands and knows Me— that I am Yahweh, showing faithful love, justice, and righteousness on the earth, for I delight in these things. This is the Lord’s declaration."

Is Jesus your friend? Do you know him? Are you seeking to know him better, as he sought you?

Time doesn't just tick.

God made time. Have you ever really stopped to think about that? Although we know that God exist outside of space and time, he did create our sense of time, years, seasons, months, days, minutes. 

Genesis 1:14 - "Then God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night. They will serve as signs for festivals and for days and years."

God gave us signs so that we could mark the passing of time, look back on that time, even to have dead lines. Crazy huh? God makes the sun descend in the evening to show you that, yes, that midnight due date is coming. 

God gives us time like he gives anything else. He gives and he takes away. "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will leave this life. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. Praise the name of Yahweh." (Job 1:21) The time he has allotted to us is precious. And some he has allotted more than others. 

He is almighty and able to manipulate time. He blessed Caleb with a longer day to battle for the Israelites. Joshua 10:12-14 "On the day the Lord gave the Amorites over to the Israelites, Joshua spoke to the Lord in the presence of Israel: “Sun, stand still over Gibeon, and moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.” And the sun stood still and the moon stopped until the nation took vengeance on its enemies. Isn’t this written in the Book of Jashar? So the sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed its setting almost a full day.  There has been no day like it before or since, when the Lord listened to the voice of a man, because the Lord fought for Israel. Then Joshua and all Israel with him returned to the camp at Gilgal."

So if God provides all we need, and he has also provided with markers of time, then God has given us all the time we need. Do we use that time as well as we use other resources the Lord has given us? 

The Bible speaks in may places about the way we use those things with which God has blessed us.
Luke 12:42-44 "And the Lord said, “Who then is the faithful and sensible steward, whom his master will put in charge of his servants, to give them their rations at the proper time? “Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes. “Truly I say to you that he will put him in charge of all his possessions."

Are you a faithful steward of the precious little time God has given you? Do you live in the urgency of the Gospel? And even in meeting the most seemingly insignificant of deadlines, do you seek to glorify God with efficiency and punctuality?

An Old Table and an Old Memory

One of my very favorite Christmas memories tooks place at my grandmother's house. Every year we would go to Granny and B-bob's (my grandfather) house for family Christmas on my mother's side of the family. I would play with my younger cousins while we watched my uncles and older cousins play football in the yard. Everyone of us had at least one special ornament we would look for on Granny's tree. It was special because it was there just for us. 

Then we would open presents and the children would disappear with their new toys while the adults played a game of dirty santa. We anxiously awaited the day we would be able to join them. Although probably not as anxiously as we awaited the day we were taller than Granny. That's when you could have your food in the living room with the grown ups. :P

My grandfather passed away when I was just seven years old, so this memory is one from when I as quite little. I was probably five at the oldest. B-bob stooped down and scooped my onto his lap, then did the same to my little brother. We each sat on one of his knees as B-bob started to sing. We had these large bells in our hands. I am not even sure where we got them, but as my grandfather belted out the words to Jingle Bells, we offered him the greatest and loudest accompaniment we could afford. 

And that's all I remember. That simple memory has kept my grandfather's face in the forefront of my mind every Christmas season for the last 14 years. I still remember the feeling of his old but steady hands under my armpits, and the jolt of upward movement from  he floor to his slender knee.