I taught myself something without realizing it. Don't you love it when that happens? So many times I will give another person some advice or help them in some way and then within the next few days, or even sometimes few hours, I realize that thata lesson was really for me.
Because, God, you are so cool like that.
So, I figured I'd tell about it, seeing as how I'm never the only one that needs to know things. Life is pretty much a situation where everyone knows something, but no one knows everything.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of reconnecting with an old friend from high school. We started out talking about the baby and being excited for the future.Then unfortunately, she admitted to me that life was not at all going the way she hoped. (Unfortunate about her situation, not that she told me :P I am glad she confided in me.) I know all too well what it is like to be in a situation where its impossible to make ends meet, and you feel absolutely helpless.
She shared her hopes of getting out of Montgomery, but the means to do so are no where in sight. She even wishes she could back into art, which she loves so much. Her situation is even keeping her out of school, a place where she would feel focused and able to move forward through studies.
I know exactly how she feels. In a way, our high school was a safe place, complete with numerous oppurtunities to get involved with anything that interest you, as well as high expectations for success, and a plethora of people willing and able to assist you and guide in your chosen direction.
The we got into the real world. Lucky for me, I already knew what my plans were and was determined to execute them as quickly as possible. Some, like my friend, and even my husband, weren't blessed with such an early sense of clarity. Some may not know their life calling as soon as I knew mine.
Obviously I wanted to help my friend in anyway I could. I asked around and eventually sent her a list of possible ways she could work or volunteer in artistic capacities in the area. she was overwhelmed by the long list, but more so by my willingness to help.
It made me feel good that I was able to help encourage and show her that there are plenty of opportunities out there. You just have to search relentlessly for them, and when you find them, follow them just as relentlessly.
Now back to me and what I learned. You may think I sound like the one with the answers in this situation. (Haha. Fooled you.) The point of this post is that sommetimes I know something, I just don't know I know it. I live my life as if I am ignorant.
Specifically, the statement I made about opportunities. For tose of you who don't know, I am a Missionary Candidate for Child Evangelism Fellowship. Candidate? What in the world does that mean? Well it means I am still short on training and funds to become a full time missionary.
So right now I am in a period of raising my monthly support, as well as additional support to pay for training. The basics of that include calling possible ministry partners and setting up appointments at which I would discuss what it would mean to become a ministry partner. Have I made any of these calls?
Well... not yet. Something, and I am not even sure I know what, is holding me back. Perhaps it is the same reason my friend seems so hopeless. She feels not as though she has been misguided, for that would mean someone would have to guide her, even if in the wrong way, but unguided.
The most impending thing I am raising support for is a training program that would walk me through and train me to... raise support. See the redundancy there? Although I feel quite confident that I can do this, it is as if knowing that I ma missing something renders me incapable.
It wasn't until I was able to shed light on endless possibilities for someone else, could I see that the same was true for my own situation. Who cares if I mess up the first few calls? The answer to an unasked question is always no.
Even God says ask. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8)
And sometimes you have to look into someone else's problem before you can realize that it's your problem. The bible has a funny way of doing that too. It acts like a mirror. What's one of the most prominent reason we struggle to study the Word of God every day? Because we know something in it will convict us. "But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." (James 1:22-25)
So what am I gonna do now? Put my big girl pants on, pick up the phone, and start making calls. Because the Lord is already preparing ministry supporters for me as we speak (or rather, I type). It isn't about what I say on the phone or how much training I have. it is about trusting God enough to step out of my comfort zone and believe that I will either step onto solid ground or grow wings. :)
So tell me. When have you been helping someone with a problem, given them an answer, and then realized that you need the answer as much as if not more than they did? Or how has scripture acted as a mirror for you? And what are you going to do about it?